So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
