No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
