I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize