I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
