Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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