wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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