ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
