His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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