You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
