I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
