Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
