Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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