I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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