elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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