i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
