i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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