But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Congratulations! We have a period
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
