But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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