Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
