i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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