i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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