dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
