Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
