Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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