And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
