if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize