Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
