Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
