Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
