Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
