WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
