smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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