That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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