where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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