Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
