My nipple is on Facebook.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
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