So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I cut my penus on the lid.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I didn't notice because vodka
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
