Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
