So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
