but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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