Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I love you.
Bad choice
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