Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
