I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
