That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
