he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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