Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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