You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
