You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
