I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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