I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize