I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
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