She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize