I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we're chasing vodka with high fives
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
