So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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