When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
