Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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