How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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