The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
