I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize