the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
