Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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